


The Ghost in the Crown

by t j a thurman (wednesdayisland)



Category: Hamlet - Shakespeare, The Cat in the Hat - Dr. Seuss
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-01
Updated: 2015-07-01
Packaged: 2018-04-07 04:01:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4248555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wednesdayisland/pseuds/t%20j%20a%20thurman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if Dr Seuss had written Hamlet?</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Ghost in the Crown

**Author's Note:**

> "Hamlet" has five acts, so this has five chapters. I'll add another every few days. I'll add some illustrations when I'm done with the text.

The sun did not shine.  
There were clouds overhead.  
I sat in the castle  
And wished I was dead.  
My father had perished.  
My dad lost his life.  
My uncle usurped him  
And married his wife!  
An action more evil  
Than man should commit.  
And I did not like it!  
Not even one bit!

My mother, the queen,  
And her husband, her kin,  
They knocked on the door.  
They said “May we come in?”  
They opened the door  
Of the room where I sat.  
And they said to me,  
“Why do you sit there like that?  
Did you know derrières  
Are a bit like your dad?  
For everyone’s got one.  
(Or everyone had.)  
You cried for a night  
When he died without warning.  
But you can have lots  
of good fun in the morning!  
There’s plenty of fathers!  
They’re twenty a dime!  
They don’t last forever.  
They die all the time!  
So stop going round  
In a suit of black cloth.  
You’re sure to be sad  
If you dress like a goth.  
Don’t run off to college.  
Just chill for a while.  
Now I’m your new father.  
So give us a smile!”

And then I was sadder  
Than ever I’ve felt.  
My body’s alive  
But I wished it would melt.  
My mum, like a beast,  
With my uncle was lying,  
In less than a month  
From her mourning and crying.  
They jumped into bed  
While her tears were undried,  
And I wished that the Lord  
Would allow suicide.

My friends came to tell me,  
"Come quickly! Come down!  
We've seen on the ramparts  
_A GHOST in a CROWN!_  
It gave us a fright  
Like we never have had!  
It shines in the dark!  
And it looks like your dad!"

I went to the ramparts  
High over the town.  
I looked! And I saw him!  
_The GHOST in the CROWN!_

He said, "Listen closely,  
For everyone's sake!  
They said I was killed  
By a venomous snake.  
My bruv did the deed!  
Not a serpent that hisses!  
He wants to be king  
And to sleep with my missus!  
Tell your uncle from me  
He's a murdering swine!  
Or your haircut will look  
Like a mad porcupine!"


End file.
